One Year...and Counting

So, Thursday, October 27th marked a full year on the waiting list.


I started this post in my head at least 12 times since then.  The "feel" or "tone" of it constantly changes as I've thought through it.


Some of my imaginary posts ran along the lines of, "Woe is me, nothing we ever do to add children to our family ever works out."


Pitiful, right?


And some of the other imaginary posts were more, "This past year has been tough, but I know we are going to see the fulfillment of our dream to adopt our child from Ethiopia soon."


The truth of where I'm at probably lies somewhere in between.


On one hand, at times I do feel that all our effort over the past 7 years (you read that right- S E V E N) to add children to our family has been in vain.   We still seem far from our dream of being parents.  However, there are days when I'm just SURE that it's bound to happen soon!  Any day we'll get the call that will really change the course of our life forever!


If there is one thing we've learned from experience this past 20+ months we've been on the adoption path, it is that nothing is certain.  We now try with all that is in us not to have expectations, because rarely will they match reality (bad or good.)


It's very difficult to sum up the roller coaster that has been this past year. but in the midst of the ride I know that Trace and I have become different people than when we jumped on. 


We better understand that adoption is a redemptive act born out of a child's loss. 


We lean on God's grace every day.


We've learned more about hope than any other time in our lives.


We miss a child we've never met, and tangibly feel his absence at times.


We pray...a lot.


About 2 weeks ago we sent an email out to some friends and family that have asked to stay in the loop about our adoption.  Here is a part of that email that shares our heart:


"How are we doing? Honestly, we have good days and not-such-good days. A year ago at this time we thought we’d be bringing our son home by now, instead we haven’t even seen his picture yet. This week we are weary of the uncertainty and wait. We wonder whether he already lives in an orphanage, how old he is, and if he is being loved on. We pray that his little heart stays soft and learns to trust even in the midst of what he might be going through. Many times I (Randee) can’t think about him with any of this detail or I don’t know if I could stand it. Overall, we DO feel that we’ve walked in a tremendous amount of grace over the past 20 months of our adoption journey (1 yr of that being on the waiting list), but there are times when it’s just plain hard to have to keep keepin’ on.


We would certainly appreciate your continued prayer for us. Adoption is complex in many ways, but one of the hardest to reconcile (by FAR) is that we can only adopt a child due to the fact that he is orphaned. We don’t wish for any child to lose their birth family, only to adopt one that already has. We believe that adoption is not God’s first plan for families, but a redemptive act to give some children a loving family that otherwise would not have one. So while this wait is difficult for us, we want to be careful how we pray."


If you pray and want to pray for our family- this is how you can join us:


· That the child who will become our son is safe, well cared for, and well loved.

· If there are people, processes or red-tape holding up our adoption that those “issues” would  be resolved
  so our adoption would move forward.
· That the Lord would calm our hearts and give us patience as we continue to wait.
· The Lord would orchestrate all the details of our adoption!
 
On the 27th I woke up with a heaviness thinking about our adoption process and our son and how our path has been much different than anticipated.  Then the phrase "But he is worth it" went through my mind.  I have been holding onto that simple, yet powerful phrase ever since.  The Lord knew exactly what I needed to hear to keep moving forward.


Thank you for sticking with us through our journey.  God is faithful, and one way He is faithful to show Himself to us is by the gift of friends and family.  We do feel truly blessed to have so many amazing people in our lives!